The Hot Messi - An Argentine Burger

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this. The Hot Messi.  A 1/2 lb burger loaded with Argentinian flavors that will kick your ass.

I hope you give this a try because it was definitely one of my favorite burgers and so easy to make.

The Hot Messi - Makes 2 1/2 lb burgers

The Patty:
1 lb of 80/20 ground beef
1/4 cup parsley
2 garlic cloves minced
1 tsp smoked paprika
Salt and Pepper to taste

Salsa Criolla:
1 bell pepper (or several mini bell peppers)
1 thai pepper (can omit if you can't handle the heat)
1 large shallot
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp red wine vinegar
salt to taste
Juice from 1/4 lime

Chimichurri Sauce:
1/2 cup parsley
1/4 cup cilantro
1/8 cup fresh oregano (use 1/2 this amount of using dried)
1 garlic clove
1 tbsp red wine vinegar
2 tbsp olive oil
salt and pepper

Toppings
1 Argentinian chorizo sausage (similar to Italian sausage)
2 slices of manchego cheese
arugula

To make the salsa criolla:
1. This step is optional, and by optional I mean mandatory, toast the peppers and shallots over an open flame, or in a very hot oven until the skin blackens and blisters.  Then under cool running water, scrub off the blackened bits.

2.  Dice into 1 cm pieces and mix together with the oil, vinegar, lime juice and salt.  Let it sit for 10 minutes for the flavors to meld, the longer the better.   Taste for final seasoning.

To make the chimichurri:
1. In a food processor, combine all ingredients and blend until desired consistency. I like mine a little chunky, but you can go as smooth as you'd like

To make the burger:
1. Gently combine the meat, parsley, garlic, paprika and salt.  Be careful not to overwork the patty.  Form into 1/2 inch thick patties.  Make sure to indent the middle of the patty to prevent it from puffing up.  You'll want to make the patties last since the salt will denature the proteins and you'll end up with more of a meatloaf than a burger if you leave them for too long.  If you want to make ahead, omit the salt and just liberally season the patty before you cook.

2.  In a hot skillet, pan fry the patty, or take it the grill.  When you see that the cooked part reaches half way up the patty, it's time to flip.  Since there's very little to bind the patty, you don't want to flip it more than once.  Lay a slice of cheese on the patty and cook the other side for another 2-3 minutes.  To be safe, check with a probe thermometer for a 140F internal temp (medium).

While cooking the patties, you can also cook the sausage.  Once the outside is crispy and blistered, butterfly the sausage to cook and crisp up the inside.

Final Assembly:
1. Toast the buns in the skillet, letting it absorb the meat drippings.
2. Put down a layer of arugula and spoon on some chimichurri. Then top with the patty and sausage.  Finally, spoon on some salsa criolla.

I hope you give this a try, I guarantee you you'll feel like this afterwards:

That's that Crack Noodle homie, that real Viet noodle homie. Hu Tieu Nam Vang

A year ago, I kept hearing my friends talk about crack noodles. "Oh my god, they're so good, it's like crack! It comes with this sauce, crack sauce, it's like crack."  First, how do they know what crack is like?  Second, how the hell do I order crack noodles at a Viet restaurant? "Cô cho cháu một tô crack noodle." 

Much to my surprise, crack noodles is just hu tieu nam vang, a Vietnamese take on a Cambodian dish (we do share a border).  My sister makes it all the time, and won't she be surprised when she hears what my friends call it.  

Hu tieu is a pretty versatile dish and can be made in tons of different configurations (including my personal favorite, hu tieu sate.)  It differs from pho in that it's usually made with a pork broth and contains seafood.  The noodles can be the exact same as pho noodles, or much wider ho fun noodles, and sometimes even clear tapioca noodles.  My sister's version is eaten dry, served with a sweet soy sauce mixture (crack sauce) and a bowl of broth on the side.  You can also eat this with the broth in the bowl and omit the crack sauce if you'd prefer.  

I'd also like to talk about my new favorite kitchen tool, my pressure cooker.  Amy bought me one after I scraped her in our gym competition, and I've used it more times in the last month than I can count.  People talk about a crock pot being the real convenience tool, nah brah, get yourself a pressure cooker.  A pressure cooker allows you to cook things in a fraction of the time of standard methods, so if you're short for time, or you suck at planning ahead, a pressure cooker will change yo' life!  I was able to make pho in an hour, when it used to take 8.  Amaze balls. Read more about it here.

Anyhow, onto the hu tieu!  This is a little involved, but worth it.

Hu Tieu Nam Vang (Makes 6-8 servings)

Broth
2 lb Pork Spare Ribs
2 Tbsp dried shrimp
1 Large onion
1 oz rock sugar
1 tbsp salt
4 quart water or crab stock
1 tbsp nuoc mam
1 tsp soy sauce

Crack Sauce
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup sugar
1 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp fried shallots
1 green onion stalk

Toppings
Shrimp (3 per person)
Squid (1-2 per person depending on size)
Char siu
Chinese celery
Bean sprouts
Green onions (diced)
Fried shallots
Noodles of your choice.

1. Soak dried shrimp in hot water for 15 minutes, then drain the shrimp.  In a small pot, add the spare ribs and enough water to cover them and bring to a boil.  Boil for 2-3 minutes to release all the gunk.  Drain and rinse the pork carefully.

2. Remove the paper from the onion and over an open flame, or in a very hot oven, roast until the onion is charred all over.  Rinse the onion under running water and scrub off all the charred parts.

 3.  In the pressure cooker, add the parboiled pork, dried shrimp, sugar, salt, fish sauce, soy sauce, onion and the water or crab stock.  Turn the heat on high and once it comes to pressure, turn the heat down to low.  Cook on low for 30 minutes.

4.  Allow the pot to depressurize before opening and taste for final seasoning.

5.  Turn the heat to high and poach the shrimp and squid until cooked through (about 3-4 minutes)

6.  Cook the noodles as per package instructions, then assemble your bowls!  Add a few slices of char siu and a few pieces of spare rib, poached shrimp and squid, green onion, bean sprouts, Chinese celery, and fried shallots.  If eating it wet, ladle the broth into the bowls, if dry, ladle out a small bowl of broth on the side and serve with a small bowl of crack sauce.

7. To make crack sauce, combine all the sauce ingredients and cook for 2-3 minutes until the sugar dissolves and sauce slightly thickens.



Addendum: Shirataki Noodles
In an effort to eat healthier and get dat #CoachellaBody, I've been replacing high calorie and high carb noodles with these shirataki noodles.  They're made out of yams and have a very similar taste and texture to rice noodles, but with zero calories and zero carbs.  It's god damn magic I tell ya.

To prep these noodles, drain and rinse the noodles under running water to remove the weird liquid they're packaged in.  Then, in a dry non stick skillet, dry fry them for 3-4 minutes.  This dries them out a bit and allows them to better absorb whatever broth or sauce you eat them with.

Char Siu, 3x faster than regular Siu.

Wow, that was a ridiculously nerdy reference.

Char siu is Chinese BBQ pork, this was made to accompany my Hu Tieu Nam Vang bowl (post to come later), but is often eaten simply with rice, or stuffed into a char siu bao (BBQ pork bun).  Usually found in Chinese deli's hanging next to the roast duck, it's glistening drippings bring all the boys to the yard.

I skipped the red food coloring, so it doesn't have the vibrant fluorescent pink coloring of the stuff you'll get from the Chinese deli, but it's just as good.  I went with pork belly, but you can go leaner with shoulder or loin, up to you!  I'd imagine this would work pretty well with chicken too.

Anyhow, enough rambling, onto the recipe!

Char Siu - 
Prep time - 24 hours
Cook time - 2 hours

Marinade (enough for 2lbs of Pork)
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp soy sauce
1.5 tbsp hoisin sauce
1/2 tbsp oyster sauce
1 tsp dark soy sauce
1 tsp Chinese cooking wine
1 clove minced garlic
1/2 tsp 5 spice powder
1/2 tsp sesame oil

1. Combine all marinade ingredients and cook until the marinade thickens slightly (2-3 minutes).  Allow the marinade to cool completely.  In a large ziploc bag, add the pork and marinade, making sure you get the marinade into all the nooks and crannies.  Marinade in the fridge for 24 hours.

2.  Preheat your oven to 250F. Remove the pork from the bag and reserve the excess marinade.  Place the pork into a cooking pan and cover with foil.  Cook for 1 hour and 50 minutes covered, then remove foil.

3. Turn broiler on high and cook until the skin is crispy (if using a skinless piece of pork, cook until you start seeing char marks on the pork.

4. Make sure you let the pork rest for at least 10 minutes before cutting in and enjoying!